Second Battle of Carnegie

According to an anonymous source from inside the men's four, our boys had great success in their duels yesterday with the team's estrogenous counterparts over in Princeton, racing competitively over a number of pieces and demonstrating solid overall progress as a crew. In spite of the unspeakable discomfort that comes with racing in what must have been a positively traumatic environment, the four was able to find and hold speed throughout the pieces, led by their fearless coxswain, Captain Patty O'Hara. They fended off their rival's efforts at bewitching mind games and instead rowed their own race, a race which will hopefully compare well at the World Championships. The pair, regrettably, did not share the same success. They, too, changed over to a Hudson yesterday, but were for some reason unable to find a rhythm; this issue was later resolved, as the hull was discovered to be mislabeled and was rated for persons heavier than myself (though I weighed in at a vicious fighting weight today, at only 211.0 pounds). Apparently the pair decided that changing back to the correct hull the next day would be too laborious, and instead opted to sleep in, not until 5:40, not until 7:30, but until whenever they woke up. I was astounded by such a foreign concept, though I proceeded to give the pair's Michael Evans a thumbs-up as I re-entered the dorms, simply in recognition of his free-thinking attitude. I must concede, I am jealous of the pair's liberty of mind. Then again, maybe if I didn't have that evil coxswain-gnome Lou Lombardi all up in my face all the time when I'm trying to row, I'd be able to think, too.